for something truly terrifying...

i have a friend, we'll call him boner to protect his good name (and, well... we actually do call him boner). he's kind of a pussy when it comes to pretty much everything (not that there's anything wrong with that). for example, he complains/whines that the sauna at the gym is "too hot." anyway, getting back to my story, there is this fantastic mexican restaurant in LA called king taco. i'm going to go out on a limb and say that they put cocaine in the meat because it's so DAMN good and you'll want to go back for more.

boner, mark, and i went there for lunch yesterday afternoon. boner kinda shocked me because he actually went back to the counter to get some red hot sauce to go with his combination burrito. nevertheless, he's still a pussy (once again, i can't emphasize enough that there's nothing wrong with being a pussy), reasons being two-fold:

1. he got the "salsa rojo" off to the side and not in his burrito.
2. when he put on the red hot sauce, he used a spoon and put minute amounts of it on his burrito.

and the aftermath of all this? answered somewhat graphically in an email he wrote today to mark and i:

X-Sieve: CMU Sieve 2.2
Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 17:25:02 -0800 (PST)
From: Boner
To: Mark Xxxxxxxxxxxx, Francis Xxx
Subject: king taco on sunday
X-Scanned-By: MIMEDefang 2.25 / SpamAssassin 2.43 / mail.ucla.edu
X-Probable-Spam: no
X-Spam-Hits: 0.2

So, you know the hot sauce I had on Sunday?

Well, Sunday night, I was hurting! My stomach hurt. Then I took a dump and
felt it coming out. :) Anyways, thought I'd share that with you guys.

- [boner]

imagine the horror of receiving this email at 5:27pm, whilst at work.